• Monday, June 25th, 2007
There is always first for everything in our life. Riding the bicycle first time, first instance of feeling love in our heart, first job, first time getting on the flight, first time getting married(I hope its the only time) and the list never ends. Adding to it, becoming a Father first time is also yet another memorable moment for most men.
In the past, I used to agree with my friends that Father’s day is yet another day like Valentine’s day, Mother’s Day created by somebody for unknown reasons which got turned into a big business by Hallmark and other companies. I also felt that its not the only day we celebrate those people. Being said all that in the past which still holds good. I myself felt important to be celebrated after being a father now. I love to be treated special for a day. There is nothing wrong in it right 🙂
Like every women, Men also transforms himself to different characters in each stage of his life. But we don’t talk loud enough about it to be heard by everybody. Because of that, there is a rumor floats around the town that MEN don’t care much for changes in their life. I won’t agree with that statement. True fact is, we do care for the changes but we don’t show a lot to the outside world. So I feel thrilled in sharing my fatherhood experience.
I got upgraded(software sense, being software engineer) or promoted as a father approximately a year ago. My Son took his avatar in this world last year making me a proud father. That finest moment took me to the heights of happiness. Being a part of bringing a life to this world can’t be compared to anything else in this world. Its a blessing from GOD and not many are blessed and get to experience it.
We ourselves were worried and longed to be parents one time. After marriage, we decided to wait for atleast 3 years before having a baby. Once we decided to have baby after that period, we aren’t blessed soon enough.
Meanwhile, we been getting hit by the rumors all around. Every time we call our parents, they kept asking whether there is any special news. They start giving lectures for hours over the phone about being a parent. We have to some how convince them by telling to hold on a little while. We felt the pressure all over us and frustrated at times. We thought we made a bad decision to postpone for 3years. We just kept praying and hoping someday we will be blessed.
Our prayers were finally answered and we are blessed with a beautiful boy. I didn’t believe when my wife said she was pregnant. I had to wait for 2 months until we get to scan and see it in our naked eyes. 10 months might be a long wait but its worth it. He was so tiny and precious when I took him in my hand as soon he came out crying.
(A Happy Father hold Ashwin – 4th Month)
Time flies fast nowadays. He is going to be a year next Wednesday(Jun 20). This last one year was so much fun watching him grow slowly from being a tiny baby to an infant who can sit steadily to a toddler who can crawl and walk with support. We tried to take pictures whenever we get to see his cute smile and video taped memorable moments like when he start to rollover, when he sits up straight without falling and when he started crawling. We also started a scrap book to save all wonderful pics of him. Its a great treasure to have and hope to continue for years to come. Here is some of them.
Ashwin’s First Halloween Costume
Ashwin in Sunglasses
We already celebrated his Ist birthday when we were in India last month inviting all our closed relatives and friends. It was great experience to arrange this first big event in my life all myself. Its the first time lot of my relatives get to see him and he gets to play all the kids in my family. It was blast and joyous occasion.
My Cute little son Ashwin on his Birthday Celebration
Ashwin and his Happy Parents cutting his Cake
He will soon be a 5 years old boy in a blink of an eye, running out from home to go to school and one day he will be a big boy. Nothing can stop that so taking it in as much as I can and saving it in my heart and my computer harddisk.
I think being a father is a true blessing. So I like to spend my valuable time with him and not let go of any precious moments. Every day is worth celebrating!!!
But I still wait to celebrate my First Father’s day with my son this Sunday. I also hope to be a good father by supporting him in all wonderful endeavors in his life journey as our son.
Happy Father’s Day to All FATHER’S – Jun 17th!!!
PS: I been wanting to post this blog. Just found the right time to post it .
• Monday, January 22nd, 2007
Approximately 4 years ago, I was on top of my happy moments enjoying my bachelorhood in Boston with lots of fun activities like learning swing dancing, going out for dancing and making friends, Running Marathons, participating in all type of volunteering activities and having blast and never felt I was away from home. It was really unforgettable days of my life. Then there comes the pressure from my parents to get married and unexpected legal bottleneck in my green card processing.
For those who are not aware of GC processing facts, if you want your spouse to be added to the GC processing. You should have got married and add her in the I485 application(3rd stage). If you get married after applying, you won’t be able to add her and she can’t come in and stay with you after you received your GC. Because you become a permanent resident and her dependent visa validation becomes void.
So I was in deadlock situation to make a decision whether to go ahead with my GC processing without getting married and adding the spouse or get married quickly and add her in for a smooth GC processing. First of all, I was not in ready mental state to get married. If I do, I always want to get married loving the person first. But I was successfully talked out all of it when I visited my parents in India to get arrange married. And the current GC situation, pushed me hard to make a decision. If I opt for the first one, you would have to wait for 7-10years until you receive your Citizenship. Then only you can sponsor anybody to bring into US. I don’t think my parents will ever want to wait so long since I am the only Son for them. I ended up getting married in 6months time like any other Desi guy.
But my friends who were in the same boat, didn’t want to take that chance. They went ahead without getting married and got their GC approved. They are still not married at this point of time. Whenever I call them, they either sitting with their gal friends and putting kadalai(chit chatting) or touring somewhere in the world. As I said before, my PARENTS play a important role. My parents either they just want to finish their responsibilities or want to see get settled down, they pushed me hard enough to get married. Because of that, they did all the hard work finding a bride suitable for me. I just need to filter out from their list. That’s not the case for my friends. Their parents didn’t actually get more concerned except talking about it.
After my marriage, I used to ask them when are you guys getting married. They either say “We are not ready yet” or “We are not finding a suitable person” or “My parents are finding any suitable person”. But the fact is, they can’t get married now easily because they are permanent resident and they need to wait at least 3-5 years to become citizens and then try to get married. “WILL THEY BE AT LEAST READY BY THAT TIME OR THEY WILL BE NEVER READY”. Who knows ? But it will be too late to realise at that time and they will try to find some other excuse to bully themselves.
I did wonder sometimes, Did I make a mistake of getting married and spoiled my life without much fun getting stuck with all the responsibilities or Did they make the mistake of not getting married and missing the joy and afraid of the commitments ?!! Is it all happened for good or bad ?!
After thinking thru lots of things happened before and after marriage and especially after seeing them having trouble find a good companion, I convinced myself that its all happened for best and its all part of GODS PLAN. I did regret on missing out some fun but my wife always try to fill me in and give me company whenever needed like going out with for dancing and other activities.
I learnt a very valuable lesson. I did lose my fun life but I gained lot more than that. No gain without pain right !! And its well worth when you see the smile on your baby. Yeap, I been blessed to see the smile from my 7month old son. I totally felt that my NRI(Never Ready Indian) friends will never realize until they experience it. They are missing out the great fun of all !!!!
TAKE A RIGHT AND WISE DECISION TO GET MARRIED WHENEVER YOU FEEL RIGHT FOR YOU BUT DON’T POSTPONE UNTIL ITS TOO LATE.
