For those who are not aware of GC processing facts, if you want your spouse to be added to the GC processing. You should have got married and add her in the I485 application(3rd stage). If you get married after applying, you won’t be able to add her and she can’t come in and stay with you after you received your GC. Because you become a permanent resident and her dependent visa validation becomes void.
So I was in deadlock situation to make a decision whether to go ahead with my GC processing without getting married and adding the spouse or get married quickly and add her in for a smooth GC processing. First of all, I was not in ready mental state to get married. If I do, I always want to get married loving the person first. But I was successfully talked out all of it when I visited my parents in India to get arrange married. And the current GC situation, pushed me hard to make a decision. If I opt for the first one, you would have to wait for 7-10years until you receive your Citizenship. Then only you can sponsor anybody to bring into US. I don’t think my parents will ever want to wait so long since I am the only Son for them. I ended up getting married in 6months time like any other Desi guy.
But my friends who were in the same boat, didn’t want to take that chance. They went ahead without getting married and got their GC approved. They are still not married at this point of time. Whenever I call them, they either sitting with their gal friends and putting kadalai(chit chatting) or touring somewhere in the world. As I said before, my PARENTS play a important role. My parents either they just want to finish their responsibilities or want to see get settled down, they pushed me hard enough to get married. Because of that, they did all the hard work finding a bride suitable for me. I just need to filter out from their list. That’s not the case for my friends. Their parents didn’t actually get more concerned except talking about it.
After my marriage, I used to ask them when are you guys getting married. They either say “We are not ready yet” or “We are not finding a suitable person” or “My parents are finding any suitable person”. But the fact is, they can’t get married now easily because they are permanent resident and they need to wait at least 3-5 years to become citizens and then try to get married. “WILL THEY BE AT LEAST READY BY THAT TIME OR THEY WILL BE NEVER READY”. Who knows ? But it will be too late to realise at that time and they will try to find some other excuse to bully themselves.
I did wonder sometimes, Did I make a mistake of getting married and spoiled my life without much fun getting stuck with all the responsibilities or Did they make the mistake of not getting married and missing the joy and afraid of the commitments ?!! Is it all happened for good or bad ?!
After thinking thru lots of things happened before and after marriage and especially after seeing them having trouble find a good companion, I convinced myself that its all happened for best and its all part of GODS PLAN. I did regret on missing out some fun but my wife always try to fill me in and give me company whenever needed like going out with for dancing and other activities.